I think most people get the impression that my life is just so wonderful and I’m here to tell you that is not the case. I’ve heard people say that I make parenting/marriage look fun and easy — LAUGH OUT LOUD…though they are both wonderful experiences, they aren’t always fun and easy. In fact sometimes (and right now I want to say MOST times) its just, down right, the hardest thing I’ve ever had to handle and the MOST everything draining, i.e. physical, emotional, mental, experiences ever. EVER!!
My social media content tends to be positive because naturally I’m a positive person. I focus on the little good things in life, all the time…but really IRL (in real life) there are many days I’m struggling to balance being a wife, mother, and at the same time trying to have a sense of self that is separate from those two gigantic roles. The night before I posted “Little Beach” I basically cried myself to sleep but it’s not like I’ll tell you that. Thats real life. I’m just trying to be positive for myself and for my mother who’s constantly connected to my social media so she can feel connected to her grandson and me and my husband who are thousands of miles away. The last thing I need to do is worry my own mother. If I seem happy, she will have one less thing to worry about and thats good for me.
Marriage is hard. Anyone who tells me otherwise seriously woke up on a cloud or hasn’t been married past 4 years. Trust is a huge trait that needs to exist and I’m not even just talking about trusting that your significant other wont be sleeping or flirting with someone else..I’m talking about trusting that they are who they say they are. Trusting that their values and yours are the same and if not, that it is made known. Trusting that they don’t have some secret life you don’t know about. Trusting that they wont go blowing your combined life savings on some crazy addiction like shopping or gambling or whatever. Trusting that they’ll commit to their vows the way that you do. Trusting that they can be someone you can count on because they are your life partner after all. Patience and understanding are two other big ones. Patience when you’re fighting. Patience when you’re frustrated. Patience when all you want to do is rip your partner apart. Understanding that there will be storms. Understanding how you feel and how your partner feels. Understanding good things don’t come easily and nothing good comes from neglect. Sigh. I have more to say but now it just sounds like I’m rambling and Niven just woke up from his very short nap.
So for now,
JUST KEEP SWIMMING.