Studying and Thinking Lately

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There are so many days lately when I wish I didn’t feel things.  ANYTHING.  When I feel things, I feel them so deeply that when the “thing” is a negative feeling, it really eats me up…especially lately.  Some days my heart is so heavy that it feels like it sinks me.  I shut down, I check out, I escape all the heavy broken things in my life every chance I get (that’s every chance I’m not tending to my toddler).  My pain is so great, I feel I can hardly breathe.  Its like I have this stress-induced asthma.  Its so easy to get swept up in the heaviness these days.  So easy, its sad.  But I also know that part of the beauty of being a feeler to my core is that I’m also able to feel all the beautiful and good things on a deep rich level also.  Sometimes I wonder if I’m bipolar because of that, LOL.

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